it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
