I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The power of my boobs compel you
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize