Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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