After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
