she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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