I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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