Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize