Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
