john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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