Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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