My first STD was from a foam party
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
