i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
