Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
