Jerry, you need to find god
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize