it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
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