You made me cry and you don't even care
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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