We won't sleep together?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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