When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize
