super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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