You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
His nipple licking is glorious
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