Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
