i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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