super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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