No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
