Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize