I'm eating all of the evidence.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
