Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
