what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
