I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
