If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
