Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
