so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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