You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
