So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize