listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this will be a night to untag.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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