I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm passing your future prison.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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