Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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