I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
