Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
