Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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