You smell like stripper and shame
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
