Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
