Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
