Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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