Welp...herpes.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
