drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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