dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
