Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
