I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
