Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
