Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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