She's JV to your varsity
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize