He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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