Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm always down for nudity.
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