mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
