I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
